Friday, November 9, 2007

Deep Thought: Hockey Socks

Last week I waxed poetic over the long defunct Hartford Whalers logo. This week, the gloves come off.

I hate the Ottawa Senators' fugly socks.

I'm mature enough to give them credit for attempting something more interesting than than the tried and true stripe around the calf, but this was not the sort of interesting I think they wanted. This is interesting in a car accident rubbernecker kind of way, while they should have shot for a more Banksy type of interesting. Both grab your eye, but one claws it out screaming while the other makes you want to notice it.

I think I have two main problems with this sock fashion statement.

1. Nobody, and I mean NOBODY, will ever get them on straight.

(I believe it's physically impossible to make that leg/foot angle if that stripe is actually up the back of the calf.)
And unless hockey players are significantly more OCD than I'm thinking they are, they won't really care. And that will make them look... special. As well as driving all the OCD people in the world nuts, and giving me flashbacks to some Horrible Pantyhose Moments (tm) and a few other select times a pair of rubber boots sucked my socks all out of whack. And really, why should you depend on a group of hockey players to worry about getting their seams straight? For years, they've just slapped on a pair of socks, so why make it challenging now?

2. Hockey tape + these socks=ridiculous looking.

There's no way to make these look okay with tape on them because there IS a line that runs all the way down the leg, so no matter how you wrap the tape, there's gonna be an obvious tape line. Now, there were obviously times before that guys wrapped tape around their legs and it overlapped the colored stripe, but when it's a vertical stripe, it's just sorta obnoxious. Not to mention on the vertical stripe, when you don't tuck the sock into the skate, it just kinda.. keeps....going... Fashion people know that lines draw the eye, and if I let myself be drawn there, I'm looking at someone's heel. Less than interesting.

Also, weren't the RBK Edge socks supposed to be tight enough that you didn't NEED tape anymore?

I just call 'em as I see 'em. And on this one, I'm calling a drastic uniform foul on the Sens.