Thursday, May 31, 2007


That's it. I am now calling him Captain Crosby for the rest of my life. Or his, whichever comes first.

Whiskey-Tango-Foxtrot, over....

Sidney Crosby to be named Pens captain If I were Marc Recchi, I think I would be strategically planning to break Sid's kneecaps Tonya Harding style. You don't name a 19 year old as captain of a team... they just don't have enough experience leading people. 19 years old "leaders" are on studant council, are camp counselors and lifeguards, and maybe, MAYBE are captain of a college team. NOT an NHL team.

Jeebus chistos, it's gonna be a shitstorm.

(And really, why do we need to give Crosby another chance to hog the spotlight? Whatever happened to his hardworking teammates never getting any airtime? I wish Sid would scoot over a little and let the rest of the team get a little appreciation once in a while, because he's sure not out there doing it himself.)

This is me giving Sidney Crosby the older sister "I hope you know what you've gotten yourself into" look. Because dayum, dude.

Wednesday, May 30, 2007

Let's Go... Wooster?

In a startlingly prophetic turn of events, Wooster Ohio will be getting a hockey team. Now, this may not seem prophectic to y'all, but at some point, an announcer in Stanley Cup Finals game said something about the "Worchester Sharks" and I immediately went "But there can't be hockey in Wooster... it's tiny!" At that point there wasn't, but I have since been PROVED WRONG, as the Mid-Atlantic Hockey League is dropping a pre-pre-pro hockey team into the hamlet of Wooster Ohio. Why does this even semi-excite me? Other than the fact that my mother went to the College of Wooster, (and played in teh bagpipe band, mind you), my grandmother and uncle live about half an hour from there. Which means that if I go visit them for wintery holidays, THERE'S LIVE HOCKEY (that's not the Bears! (not that the Bears are bad, but for something new and different!(and on some levels the Bears are bad because they feed into the Caps, and... well, I'm not supposed to like the Caps.))).

Of course, they're still looking for a name for the team. I'm thinking of sending in the suggestion the "Loud MacLeods" or the "Wooster MacLeods"(pronounced mac-clouds) which is the bright yellow and black tartan the College of Wooster bagpipe band wears. Perhaps that's too girly for a hockey team though. What do you think, Manchester Monarchs?

(okay, I know that's 'monarch' as in king and their logo is a lion, aka 'king of the jungle', but every time I hear it I immediately think of them as monarch butterflies... orange and black and kinda sissy.)

So Much for That...

Yeah, that last post in which I exulted over the fact that the Bears and I would occupy the same town at the same time? My cousin's wedding is in Montan this weekend, when the Bears are playing here. Guess which I'll be at. I was not amused.

In other contact sport news, hopefully going to make a roller derby practice tonight. I've been chasing the Harrisburg Area Roller Derby girls all over PA, due to days off and holiday non-practices and such. It's blessedly hard to organize a roller derby outing without internet capability. They're practicing about 30 minutes from my apartment, but that's about what I drove to get to a DyDD practice as well, so it shouldn't break my spirit (or my bank account)

I'm also seeking a TV. i think all i have right now is basic cable, but NBC is playing the Stanley Cup, right? Right?

Saturday, May 26, 2007

B'ars! B'ars!

How exciting is it to move into a town only to have their (ahl) team make the Calder Cup playoffs? Yeah, it's that exciting. I was actually under the impression that THIS series was the CC finals, but it turns out it's the next one, so I don't have to cheer for the Bears to lose a singular game to force them back to Hershey.... when they pummel the Monarchs, they'll be coming back to play here anyway!

I'm not sure who I'm a fan of on the Bears yet... Deryk Engelland is so far amusing on the "man who can't seem to spell any of his names like a normal human" ticket, and their goalie, Daren Machesney, is defiantley a leader in the "funny hair" party. Of course, we've all seen how well I do when I choose a fantasy hockey team based on the funny hair party, so we'll have to see if Machesney can actually put his body in front of the puck or not.(guessing towards can, because the bears are this far along in the playoffs. Just sayin'.)

Anyway, this is a heck of a welcome to Hershey, PA.

Sunday, May 20, 2007

Dearest TV...

Dear NHL on NBC,
Why do you feel the need to have hideous graphics? And why must you have SPONSORED penalties? I don't care that one of the Sucktroit Red Globs was sent to the sin bin sponosred by KFC. And I also don't care that you're totalling how long Pronger's been on the ice. You need to take a note from the CBC, whos' scoreboard headers aren't obtrusive and obnoxious. Right now, it looks like you let someone's 15 year old Photoshopper make your little buttons.... the whole "webby buttons" thing is SO 2002.
Dearest NBC, please try to be like the CBC. Then you would not make so much with the sucking.


P.S. Teemu Selanne, you are my personal hero for today. I will even refrain from calling you "Team Man Salami" for the rest of the evening for the brilliance that was that last bouncing shot.

But please... can we lose the pimp chain?

Well, foo, Stanely Cup Finals

Dayum, Sabers. You were our hope. Our hope to keep the Sens from getting any farther. Now you've left it to the Ducks, who are having an almost as wonky series as you did.

I have nothing to say.

(except I didn't actually watch the game, as I was stuck on a plane to PA. I am now in PA. Home of the Pens and the Bears and the Flyers. And HockeyState, USA. Because it could take New York. Totally. And California? Pshaw.)

Tuesday, May 15, 2007

Detroit/Anaheim, Game 3, Blog-On-The-Run

Man, I love me some checking. The Ducks seem angrier than they have been previously, as there was a nice almost-in-front of the bench check that didn't touch the wall but took both involved down.
Both teams are starting to wear down something AWFUL too. I saw at least one Red Wing and McDonald from the Ducks do the "tripping on own feet" move. Haven't yet seen anyone else eat it over their own feet in glorious fashion, but I'm sure that it's happened. As for that 'Looking Up And Falling Over' move, they teach the Baby Pens to do it... I don't know what everyone else's excuse is. C'mon boys. If you can grow a real playoff beard, you're too old to do the Penguin. I know, I know, they've been playing hockey every other night for the past two months and they're exhausted, but still.

HOORAY! The Ducks finally played Bryz! And his first move was to do his best sieve impression and let Detroit freakin' score again.

Of course, then in came Neidermayer and boarded Holmstrom in the head. Really, Holmstrom, can't you keep your blood to yourself? I have to say that his wound pattern was interesting, if his head was slammed into the the boards. Somehow he managed to hit the upper right side of his face and the cheekbone of the left side. If that was one big smearing roll across the glass, nicely done. To me it looked more like the positioning for a stick that got caught in there, but I suppose rivets holding the boards together could do you some good damage in the soft facial area.

It seems odd to me that the NHL hasn't yet instituted a "Lose the helmet, stop the play" rule. I mean, yes, then there's an opportunity for losing teams to exploit it, but you'd think that it'd be pretty obvious if Player MacSmith threw his helmet off to stop a play versus being pasted into the boards and losing it. In derby, we can get penalties for improper equipment-we got penalized in our last bout for girls not wearing mouthguards, and it seems that if the NHL wants people wearing safety gear, they should keep them WEARING THE SAFETY GEAR.
Which brings me to another point. Why the heck aren't hockey helmets kept on the head tighter by the chin straps? Every other helmet wearing sports player seems to be okay with the fact that they have to keep their chinstrap tight for their helmet to stay on. That's one of the first things you learn in Elementary School Bike Safety-that if your helmet doesn't stay on, it does your head no good. Why haven't our NHL boys figured this out yet?

Also, mouthguards.... but I suppose if you play hockey, dentistry's just really not an expense that you're too worried about, are you.

Sunday, May 13, 2007


Not that we needed to second guess them, but hooray for Canadia, who took home (will be taking home? Are they out of Russia yet?) the IIHF World Cup.

Colby Armstrong is excited, and you should be too.

I've been being a horrible hockey fan and not watching any of the games for the past two days, but in my defense, GRADUATING FROM COLLEGE. SORRY. Yes, it took all my self restraint not to Stanley Cup Hoist(tm) the diploma cover when I got it. Of course, with a flat rectangular thing, it's a little less obvious that you're actually doing the Stanley Cup Hoist (tm).

Oh well. Maybe when I get my masters in Pennsylvania there will be enough hockey fans to get it.


OMGZORS, they let Armstrong touch the ice in the IIHF World Cup game against Sweden! Proof Here

Otherwise, not much else to add. I was at dinner during the game, and despite being a sports bar, the RAM Bar and Grill seemed to have something against hockey. We had the Mariners losing on five of the seven TVs, but nothing about hockey whatsoever, until we managed to convince them that the CBC was NOT the spawn of satan, even if they were showing Don Cherry at that point.

And they wonder why NHL numbers are sinking.

Friday, May 11, 2007

Sens/Sabres Game 1 Blog-On-The-Run

NO HURRAHS to the complete lack of good in the Sabres/Sens game today. And Buffalo, way to not bring it. And when I say not bring it, I mean you left it like four states away under someone's bed, you didn't bring it. And not even a good fight to speak of, so this is quickly going to disintegrate into rambly mush.

It's not that I'm anti-Sens, it's just that I'm pro-Sabres. Of course, our money is on the fact that it'll be a Ducks/Sens final, which I'd be okay with, as long as not the Sens win. More points if they play Bryz in goal, as then we stand a chance of getting another great "Is just game!" sound clip out of the dude. I still hold that when the Pens get Malkin talking English at a decent clip, he's going to be another Bryz. But less high pitched. And if they leave him in Armstrong's vicinity, he'll learn never to shut up.

Thursday, May 10, 2007

'Ello, Sue.

I've decided to show my rare nice person side. Instead of continuing to annoy my tens of helpless non-combatant friends, I've birthed a blogspot. Not a very big blogspot, and a blogspot probably destined to stay rather tiny for the time being, but a blogspot none the less.

Welcome to Talk Hockey To Me

For those of you who are mostly clueless, welcome to a blog dedicated to three things;
1) Hockey
2) Hockey Fights
3) Goons and Agitators.

Hang on, it's gonna be bloody ride.