Tuesday, July 31, 2007

Bwa ha. ha ha ha ha.

Discovery of the Day:
The NHL has put last seasons' games on Google Video. I'm up to Pens v. Rangers, Oct 12 at this point, and have come to the conclusions that
1) Armstrong is not the only pen to use the 'wail on them behind the net' trick, as I saw Michel Ouellet do it as well (at least twice) (By the way, when the heck did he go to Tampa Bay, and who needs their head re-screwed on for that one?)
2)I really need to get practical experience/discussion with someone who understands the positioning in hockey, as my monkey-like water polo brain keeps screaming "BUT YOU'RE OUT OF POSITION!" at the hockey boys. Seeing as how they play in the NHL and we were only water polo state champions, I'm ready to believe they know what they're doing, but I'd like to see the reasoning behind it.

Saturday, July 28, 2007

Well phooey.

Turns out the Hershey Bears pre-season openers in Hershey are the same weekend as the Williams Mystic Huge Reunion.

I am not amused. The hockey gods owe me bigtime now, as I'm going to have to drive to Wilkes-Barre the weekend before to get my hockey fix. NOT AMUSED, HOCKEY GODS.

In other news, have named my green Subaru Legacy (with yellow and black bumpersticker) "Turco" as it is green, built like a brick wall, and not... young.

Wednesday, July 25, 2007

You Heard It Here....

.... well, not first, because it's all over teh intarwebs at this point, but who am I to let a good chance like this go by?

Eric and Jordan Staal arrested in Minnesota after EStaal's bachelor party.
No, srsly. See: mugshots

According to the two articles (found in the Charlotte Observer and in the NHL Fanhouse ) the real issue didn't start until the party was asked to leave the premises. They did... "After leaving the property, the group gathered on Highway 61 and began harassing passing motorists," the Sheriff's office said, at which point 14 members of the group were arrested at approximately 4 a.m."

Why can I just see two blonde Staals laughing their asses off and mooning passing motorists? And where were the redheaded Staals? Behaving somewhere? And how the HECK can you look that good in a booking photo?

I just hope that people don't go all non linear on JStaal for the underage drinking charge. He didn't pull a Michael Phelps and go DRIVING drunk, he went WALKING and BEING OBNOXIOUS drunk. And granted, he's still under drinking age in the US and Canada, but the drinking age in Ontario is 19. He's 18 and 10 months. That's about the same as when I said "aw screw it," on the good person thing and started drinking... I was 20 and 10 months. And I'm a ridiculously good, clean person, so JStaal has at least my good word to vouch for him. Not that he'll use it.

But really, don't get me started on US drinking ages, because I still think it's wrong this country can send you to war before you can drink the pain of it away....

Monday, July 23, 2007


It looks like the Canucks board may be the last holdout of the "leaked" Pens jersey pictures.

I'm impartial. I want to see it on a body (and see the front) before I pass judgment, but I can't believe they're putting the home/away color stripe below the vegas gold, where it just looks kinda wierd. I would have made the majority of the side the predominant jersey color and then edged the thing in the gold, as mixing that amount of black and white (at least from the back) is sort of saying "I HAVE NO IDEA WHERE I'M PLAYING!"

But y'know, they probably don't consult with anyone who actually has a sense of how costuming works.

I'm also waiting to see what Sidney Crosby's misshapen custom-pants wearing butt looks like with a big stripe down the side.

Wednesday, July 18, 2007

And it starts....

Ways to know that you're a little too invested in this here hockey thing:

Trying to get someone into the figure 4 stretch:

your exact words are "Cross your leg over, yeah, like that, then reach through the five hole and grab your thigh."

Yes, as soon as the other derby girl realized what I had said, she busted out laughing... and then told everyone else what a dork I was.

Monday, July 16, 2007

Overpaid People, Take 2

Sidney Crosby's birthday: 8/7/1987 (19)
My birthday: 8/7/1985 (21)

Sidney Crosby's Amount of College: 0
Amount he spent on it: $0.00
My Amount of College: 4 years (and counting)
Amount I spent on it: $152,000.000 (and counting)

Sidney Crosby's Paycheck: 1.2 million/season
My paycheck: $7.25/hour.

Where Sidney Crosby lives.

Where I live. (I'm standing in the kitchen. The only thing you can't see any of is the bathroom, which is off that wall of postcards.)

Sigh. It's not that I begrudge the boy his money, as he works for it, but at the same time, I wish that this trickle-down economy would trickle a little more and a little faster.

Her Majesty's Misspelt Service

Dear Pens:
Congrats for getting Deryk Engelland (aka The Boy Who Can't Spell A Name Normally) but didja have to take him from Hershey? He was quickly becoming one of my favorite goonish types. Of course, major points for the picture of him you chose to use.

Hi, I'm Derrykkee Enggellaaanddorz. I get in fights.

By the way, Mr Last Name of Doom there? In the last Hershey season he played, 10 points, 95 penalty minutes. That's enough to make me love him on principal.

Speaking of principal, Kip Brennan to the Rangers? I would have loved to see him stick around and beat heads in Hershey for another year, but I suppose when you get the chance, you have to go. Not to mention that maybe he and Avery will balance each other out somehow.

Or maybe they'll just beat people into comas, who knows.

Friday, July 13, 2007

eye Trouble

Okay, after much staring at them, I can't figure out how the heck Riley Armstrong and Colby Armstrong are really brothers. (Yes, this was a thinly veiled reason to stare at them, but you decide for yourself.)

If you saw these two guys wandering down the street at you, would you immediately say "Oh, I bet they're related?"

(Yes, i tried to give them to you in similar facial expressions.)

the Army marches on....

Armstrong re-signed for 2 years of Penguinitude

Note he will be in the state FOR SURE exactly as long as I will. Fate? I THINK SO.

Also, not sure I would use "rugged" to refer to that picture of him.... more like "Brutally Dorky"

Friday, July 6, 2007


Colby Armstrong, quit being a money grubbing man whore and sign the goddamned contract. You already make more than most 25 year olds by a factor of ten, so just shut your yap and get with it.

And with that, to prove a point:
Things that are Wrong with the World:

League minimum payment for a player in the NHL is $450,000
League minimum payment for a player in the MLB is $380,000
League minimum payment for a player in the NFL is $285,000 (with NO EXPERIENCE)
League minimum payment for a player in the NBA is $427,163 (with NO EXPERIENCE)

Entry level job that I am looking at is $34,000.

NHL players chase a little rubber thing around the ice with sticks for 60 minutes.
MLB players whack a leather thing with a stick and run in circles for 9 innings.
NFL players whack each other and throw a bizarre little ball for an hour.
NBA players chase each other up and down a court for 40 minutes.

I am interested in educating America's future (and possibly Canada's, if the Vancouver Maritime Museum will eventually hire me,) and preserving parts of the past for the purpose of educating the future.

Only the MLS people have their heads on straight. Starting salary for an MLS player? $24,000. Yes, friends, that is an accurate starting salary for ANY entry level job. Regardless of how brilliant you are at whatever it is you do.

(it's okay, NHL. I love you anyway. But I do wish that you'd quit giving these 18 year old high school graduates a salary that a 21 year old college graduate will never be able to achieve even with her masters' degree. Seriously, how many of them will never even make it? And how many people will I eventually edumacate somehow?)