I do apologize for my potentially horrendous spelling tonight folks, as I'm coming to you live, yes, that's right, live, from the Bears/Rats game in my backyard. I'm going to take an IPB approach to game coverage, with great potential to be edited later. I'll also be posting during stoppages of play (not stoopages of plague, as my nervous fingers would have you believe) and then updating the same entry as stuff happens. So one big entry, posted as it happens, you heard it here first. If I get to come play this game again, I may work on an updateable widget the way the AHL/NHL/Yahoo sites do box scores. Then again, I may not bother, as the AHL site does it pretty damn well themselves.

For the record, not only the only female in the box, also the YOUNGEST PERSON. Do I ever feel awkward.

Warmups:
Only caught a little, but the promised "breast cancer awareness pink warmup jerseys" we were promised are not the mass of awful I expected. They're actually a very tastefully done black practice jersey with a big pink logo on the front. Not the most horribly manly thing ever, but not the pastel pink shirt I was waiting to see.

Also noted: installation of a big video screen over the zamboni entrance. I'm not sure whether it's a leftover from the convention that was here over the week or whether it's a new permanent fixture. The way it's set up, I'm guessing convention, but we'll see if it stays or not.

Opening lineup? Beagle, Barney, Bourque, Boumedienne, Hunt and Cassivi. I'm already trying to call that the 3B line, but there's gotta be something catchier.


18:40 Clymer has just whiffed two in succession, and as if to taunt him ,the Rat goalie is wandering all the heck over.

18:19 Cassivi, doing his mattress impression, catches an easy one to his chest.

17:02 Hunt swandives a Rat past Cassivi. Don't ask me why, but there they are, doing synchronized headers towards the boards. Someone's foot catches the side of the net, and it bobbles a little, but Cassivi grabs it and keeps it where it's supposed to be.

16:12 Payback's a bitch. McAllister responds to the Rats' Wade Brookbank agitation and lands a good punch to the face. Brookbank goes down, attempting to swing back, but the refs are there before much else can happen. They're both warming the penalty box for five.

13:37 There seems to be a lot of "I don't have it, i thought YOU had it!" behind the net tonight. I'm not sure whether it's the Bears not communicating or the Rats doing some fancy teamwork, but more than once there's been a completely free puck behind a net and two Bears skating away from it. This, boys = things you should not be doing.

11:47 A LOVELY long range chip towards Cassivi and he gloves it. Marc Andre Fleury, you need to be taking notes on this game. You could learn a lot from Cassivi, between his pillowesque tendencies and hand-eye coordination.

10:40 Collins, you are not Cassivi. Please to not be trying to catch the puck. That's why you have the stick.

10:06 point blank shot from Laing..... that hits Leighton right in the chest and all but falls into his glove.

9:20 A lovely Bear slam into the boards and we have our second fight, Robitaille v # 10 Mike Angelidis. A handy Louie victory, in which it looks like he even manages to get Angelidis' jersey most of the way over his head before they have to give up. Louie picks up not just 5 for fighting, but 10 for charging as well.

8:40 Borque gets a nice charge down the side towards the Rat goalie on the penalty kill, and just to be a dick, Leighton kicks, yes, KICKS the shot away. I swear, I'd almost take the goaltender penalty to punch the guy for that.

5:25 With two Bears and Cassivi in front of the goal, the Rats manage to dick it around enough to get a #26 Nicolas Blanchard shot in. Laaaaame sauce. I must say, I'm impressed by their ability to perform accurate blind passes, taking it on faith that their teammate will be there. Of course, my inner cynic is also impressed with the fact that their teammate is there, but that's almost assuredly a leftover from my failed soccer career.

3:44 Poltuny on a breakaway gets tangled in a Bear. Crowd goes wild at the injustice of it all.

3:35 Boumedienne takes a big hit into the boards, loses his helmet. He's on the bench now, and the trainer seems to be working him over. Looks like just the ego was bruised. In the box, the Rats; 32 for interference,

2:30 Petruzalek of the Rats to the bench for too many men on the ice. If this was the Pensblog, I'd give you two boys kissing, but I run a more classy organization than that. Barely, sometimes, but classier.

2:06 Motzko with a nice shot, stopped be Leighton. Clymer tries to jam it in, but just succeeds in tipping Leighton over. He gives up before they can call him on it. It's five on three, and the Bears are trying damn hard.

35 seconds: number 17 on the Rats (Jerome Samson) seems to get some sort of sick thrill out of smacking his stick on other peoples' skates. Louie attempts to start another dust up, but is foiled by the refs, probably sick of having to spell his name every time he gets thrown out.

First Intermission: Awwwww. The Baby Bears are playing. There's nothing more ovary-exploding than a 4 foot tall kid in hockey gear. The goalies don't even look like they can move. It's sort of Kid in A Snowsuit to an extreme. There's also Hershey Jr Bears Girls team, so it's not all awful. I approve. I heartily approve. Also, Beagle is still wearing his shredded shorts. I am still mystified.

19:23 sees the Rat's Casey Bourer hobbling off the ice after taking a slapshot in the foot, and Polluck out for hooking. Come on, Bourer. Man up. Crosby skated with a broken foot, our derby captain Dosa Badazz skated with a broken foot, why can't you? (He's standing on it in the box, so he's at least going to try)

16:51 Beagle with a nice long run down the side again, but forced to abandon it going around the net. Leighton sort of idly pokes at it. Dammit man, you're infuriating.

15:31 The Bears are not keeping their eyes open tonight. There have been quite a few turnovers out of what was really bad communication and lack of team awareness. Come on guys. The people you want are in white.

14:13 Another scramble in front of the net, and a really well positioned Rat (Angelidis) on the far post, and another Albany goal. Robitaille is not amused, and almost immediately off the faceoff tries to agitate his way into another fight.

13:15 Let's have an ice party with the Rats! Let's all fall down at once and roll around!! Let's then throw the puck in our own goal! (okay, the last part only in my wishful thinking)

11:37 Bears power play, yay! We've got 21, Jamie Johnson in for roughing. Although with a name like Jamie Johnson, you probably got roughed more yourself in school.

10:14 Note to self. When puck makes it in to the photo booth, and you're a photographer someday, give it to the poor kid behind you who really wants it. For the love of hockey gods, don't be fun sucker.

8:45 Robitaille would never make it in the New NHL, not with the style of hit he loves to throw down. Yet another reason AHL hockey is so much fun to watch.

8:20 Beagle slightly misses a hit and takes a guy out at the stick as the Rat is falling. Whatevs, he's still in the box for boarding. Come out mad and let's have another Beagle fight, yo. Make my night!

7:31 BOYS. STICK MEETS PUCK. PUCK GOES DOWN ICE. You have to stop this whiffing stuff, or it's never going to work.

3:30 I do believe they've just made Beagle's themesong "Save A Horse Ride a Cowboy" Inwardsly, I'm laughing, as I don't want to explain the funny to the stodgy men in suits up here.

2:03 Klepis goes down in desperation in front of the Bears goal and chucks his stick. Sigh of relief as it's not a penalty shot, just a faceoff. Somewhere, there is also a Rat without a glove.

1:20 Clymer biffs a shot, Beagle faceplants into the glass. Boys, less awkward, more hockey. Let's go. Come on.

40 seconds Sloan off for interference. Dig that PK out guys.

6 seconds Or not. Laing off for something.... but not before making some threatening motions at the ref who called it.

Second Intermission BOOOOOOO-RING. Some sort of trike race with Cocoa, entirely forgettable, and that damn money blimp. I have decided that as well as running one of the spotlights, my other goal is to become a rinkside photographer. Perhaps both at once, if I'm that damned good.

Wow. Refs just got heartily booed by the somewhat sparse crowd. I could not be more amused right now. Also thought for a minute there we'd get to see a Laing ref whacking, as he was following him rather closely and holding a big stick.

It's never good when your team is taking the faceoff with three people.


19:15 A lovely glove save by one of the Bears, and they knock it down to the Rat end. Ten seconds on Sloan.

17:04 We seem to be playing "naptime behind the net" down at the Bears end. we've had at least four people literally lying down on the job out there. I'm also amused that backup goalie's main job seems to be handing sticks out to those who have broken theirs on the way by.

15:08 Tim Conboy of the Rats kneecaps one of his teammates with his stick and he goes sprawling. Take that, team bonding.

13:55 Hunt down next to the boards, holding his face. He's up and skating now, but goes to the bench making sure his teeth are all in one place. Looks like it's the Rats' Petruzelak, in for high sticking (to the face!)

11:42 Blocked shot and a Brookbank glove into a Clymer face, knocking his helmet off. Clymer's ready to go, but the refs say no. Please, Mr. Linesman?

10:57 HUGE HIT from McAllister. For a minute, it looks like the Rat may stay down, but he gets up and wobbles off to the bench, no penalty called.

9:12 Gymnastics with the Rats! Number 12 does a lovely double somersault after tripping over his own feet heading towards the Bears goal.

6:57 Barney and Laing collide behind the Rat goal. Le, WTF guys? We need to work on our color recognition.

2:10 Let's Maul Cassivi! And they do. Finally a blind linesman blows the whistle, but the majority of the Bears are looking pretty grumpy at that point. Just to prove it, they fire it down at the Rats, and Clymer gets up in everyone's face. Again.

1 They've pulled Cassivi. Part of me thinks this is a really BAAAAAAD idea, but so far so good.

Final Score:

Rats 2, Bears 0.

There's always next week, boys.

(clears throat)

Hey.

I'm not a puckbunny,
Or an Ice Girl.
And I don't wear pink jerseys,
makeup, or boob shirts to the arena.
And I don't know Deano, Louie or Cassivi from the Bears,
Although I've heard that they're really nice guys.

We have a Commissioner
NOT a leader.
I speak English, Referee Sign, and Hockey
NOT baseball.
And I pronounce it 'Bow-med-i-enne'
NOT 'Bowmendine.'

I can proudly tell you I watched training camp.

I believe in forechecking, NOT goalie interference.
Shot blocking, NOT shots to the head.
And that the NHL is taking all our good blueliners away.

A 'biscuit' is a puck,
A 'sin bin' is a penalty box,
And it's pronounced 'Po-tul-ny', not 'Polluteny,', 'Po-tul-ny'!

Hockey is the second greatest pastime!
The only thing to watch while avoiding homework!
And the greatest sport in the World!

My name is Teka, and I AM A HOCKEY FAN!


(Stolen from Ashley)

Just because Mad Max is sporing a head injury doesn't mean everyone else in the greater east coast area needs to jump on the bandwagon. Simon Gagne(Flyers) left last night complaining of 'dizziness' and poor Chris Clark (Caps) took an Ovechkin slapshot in the side of the head. Word on Clark from all sides is that he's gonna be fine- the puck hit him in front of the ear and just shook him up a bit. He'll be back sporting stitches, but he'll be back. No word at this point on what was up with Gagne, but supposedly he'll be trying to work back in as well.

Last night saw the Bears beat the Baby Sens in overtime, and also taught me that I really shouldn't listen to hockey and drive at the same time. I got home safe, but let's just say the focus balance between 'Bears game' and 'roadway' was...um....skewed. Kyle Wilson kept his perfect record of a goal per game, scoring the overtime winner, and regretfully, the home crowd missed a Beagle fight AND a Clymer fight. Obviously someone had to make up for the lack of Louis Robitaille.

Potulny also got a pretty moment last night. His second goal was directly off the faceoff that resulted from the Sens' first score. He didn't even let the announcer in the arena get through who had the assists before throwing it in. It's great listening to a goal like that on the radio, because you can just HEAR the commentator lifting off his seat and going through the roof. I think it was so unexpected there wasn't even a goal horn (but I could have been wrong.)

Poor Beagle just also can't get a break. I think last night he pinged at least one off a post and almost slid it by Binghamton's Glass in the five hole at least one other time. Keep playing the way you have been, man. You'll get the first AHL goal yet, I promise.

Everyone send some good thoughts to Maxime Talbot today. In case you hadn't heard, he took a header into the boards last night at full speed... from what I hear he was trying to negate an icing call and tripped, sending him face first into the wall.

He was down for a good couple of minutes, and I read somewhere the trainers had to get the smelling salts to bring him back around. He did get off the ice under his own power, but went right to the hospital and they're announcing it as a neck injury. My inner neck injury trained lifeguard is cringing a little at the fact he skated off, but I'll trust the trainers know what they're doing.


Mad Max, heal fast! We need you and the moo-stache back out there!

Not much to report today (so far) Bears are off to play Binghamton in Binghamton tomorrow, this time without Bad Mutha' Emery in goal. I'm hoping, at least, that the mental boost from that will get the Hershey boys another win before they come home again and face Albany on Sunday.

Penguins are playing the Leafs tonight. I yawn. I also don't get it on TV, so it's up to Pensblog and Sidney Crosby Show to tell me what happens. I'm guessing not much. Although I don't know how anything could be as stunningly boring as that Rangers game. Obviously, they've just not been pissing Army off and throwing him on the ice. Come on, we want a show!

Speaking of shows, did'ja all hear about Vinny Lecavalier's temper tantrum? I'm not saying it wasn't justified, from what I can see in the video there, but it's always fun to watch the pretty-boy-super-star fight. Not that I'd want to tangle with 6'4" of angry Lecavalier. He seems to do this once a year or so-work himself into a righteously indignant froth and take a bitch out. I'm just glad this time he was racking up the penalty minutes for my fantasy team. Sid, I'm waiting for you to wade in there one of these days. Recchi won't be there forever, y'know.

ALSO, in News Nobody But Me And Kristin Care About:

Kris Mayotte, in what, all of two weeks? three? with the Fresno Falcons, has already been named their First Star for a game.

I hate to say I told you so, but goddammit, I told you the guy was talented. I still think that the NHL scouts should have an associated Hlogger to go to places with them and say "That one. He's going to be big." Because granted, the guys were at Caps camp already, but we picked Beagle, Mayotte and a few of their other n00bs out of the lineup as being guys to watch. And here they are, being watched.

We rule, y'all.

I have given in. I haven't fallen to the lure of Sidney Crosby yet (although VS's lighting of his big brown doe eyes pushed me perilously close) but I did deign to watch "Sidney Crosby Revealed" before the Pens/Rangers game tonight. Here are my thoughts.... as they happen.

Okay, the kid keeps lessening my intense dislike of him. He wanted to be a goalie.

Thank you, Sir Sidbits, for not reverting to your juniors orange afro, even for as much crap as we've been giving you for the greasy wet look. This is drastically better, which tells you just how bad the orange afro was.

I really still think that Pittsburgh must be a lot like Portland. Pittsburgh LOOKS a lot like Portland, except for that whole steel-milling thing.

Sid sees the Ovie thing as a "great storyline." Dude is a born marketer.

Ah, Lundqvuist on the difference: Crosby is smart, makes other players better. Ovie's a pure goal scorer, the end.

God, this is like Sidney Crosby for Puckbunnies with ADD. Can't they stay on an image for more than 5 seconds without the little flashy graphics?

Honestly? You're calling Crosby a rugged version of Lemeaux and Gretzky? Are we looking at the same chubby-cheeked babyface?

The quote "Only a hockey player laughs about a broken foot" is false. The VS dudes have never met Dosa Badazz, roller derby captain extroardinaire.

Well. That was a half hour of silly.


And as for the actual game? Well, here's what I got before I started hollering at the TV... and making dinner... and having to leave to coach water polo.

Hooray! The first MStaal on Staal action ever! And of course, they'll pick on Jordan. Here's hoping Marc tried to give him a noogie...or has Pettinger sufficiently noogied him for the season?

Colby Armstrong has a really great announcer name... when they announce him at the beginning, he's got vowels in all the right places.

Aww, Staalsy. You've got a booboo from practice?

(insert me making macaroni and hollering at Gonchar here.)

If you want a real re-cap, head to interchangeable parts. The ookies nailed this one.

CapsChick's got me thinking again. She's spent a lot of the past week dissecting the fanlove/fanhate relationships between followers of NHL teams and lamenting the way Pens fans will come be jerks at Verizon Center.

Seeing as how I'm tiptoeing perilously close to the Dark Side admitting that I'm a Pens fan who loves the Hershey Bears pretty close to unconditionally at this point, I wanted to deal with this for a minute.

I understand that sports will have rivalries. I lived through how many years of the OSU/UofO game back home in Oregon? I've played on teams with cross-town rivalries, and as an athlete, I can honestly say that the adrenaline gets going just that much MORE when you're playing "THOSE GUYS" and you know you both have something to prove. I can even see how that adrenaline boost would give the spectators an even better game than normal to watch, so I can understand why big rivalry games sell out-that's when you see your team performing at the top of their game as WELL as at the top of their endocrine system.

However, I don't understand why rivalries have to become a pissing contest in which the game itself is virtually forgotten in favor of trash talking and threatening motions towards the other fans. Honestly, and this may be going out on a limb, I feel like it must be mostly male fans who go to this extreme of fan hatred. I, as a female, have never felt physically endangered when admitting what team I cheered for to another female fan. Granted, Kristin, Nadine and I may get into it verbally, arguing over the Flyers and the Penguins but we're doing the internet equivalent of pillow fighting. I insult Briere's parentage, and they make fun of Crosby's hair. Never once before I met Kristin did I think "Oh, maybe I shouldn't go meet her, she might punch my lights out for liking a different team."

The same thing goes for CapsChick, Shmee and I. I stayed an entire two nights at Shmee's house without fearing for my life, and with Shmee fully endorsing a good round of "Mock Ovechkin's Photo-Face" and CapsChick laughing her butt off at "Ben Clymer's Penguin Parents." Technically, we're rivals, but you'd be hard pressed to tell we weren't just cheering for hockey half the time.

And I think that's the most important thing that people miss. So often, people will say to me "Oh, you watch hockey, huh? Which is your team?" My usual response is "The Penguins, mostly, but if there's hockey on, I'll watch it."

That right there says worlds about a person. Real fans, in my eyes, may favor a team, probably know quite a bit about the team as a whole, the individual players, and may even show unbridled adoration for a single player on the team, but know enough about other teams to watch and talk intelligently about them. If a person's response is "Yeah, well my team could beat them." that's not a hockey fan. That's someone who's bought into the logo, they've bought into the spoonfed marketing, and they're watching a machine play hockey. They don't care who's out there, but goddammit, that's their logo on the ice.
Which really brings me back to the female/male issue. Women, from what I've learned from the Hlog girls, don't watch hockey for the machine. We will be the ones out there who, even while watching a team we generally don't, will learn a player's name and start watching what he DOES, rather than what he doesn't do, or even just glossing over him as another cog in the machine.

I'd also posit last night's Bears game as another reason for the anti-machine hypothesis. Hershey is a town of around 13,000 people. This town of 13,000 has adopted the 20 some boys of the Bears for as long as they're here, and often still follow their careers once they leave. Fans refer to them by first name, and a good number of people in the town have run into them in grocery stores, at hair salons, and etcetera. Bears fans KNOW their team. They love their team, almost unconditionally.

Last night, the man next to me was a Flyers fan. Across the rink there were four or five Caps jerseys in a cluster. Two Penguins fans were down behind a goal. A lady in a Wild jersey was up to my right across the ice. There were Reading Royals jerseys. There were Jonestown Chiefs jerseys. Hell, I could have worn my Canucks jersey and not been out of place. All these people rooted for the Bears, yes, but also rooted for their other separate teams. And last night, with all these 9,000 some people in the same arena?


There were no issues at all. Because dammit, we were watching our boys play hockey.

And that, THAT is what the game is all about.

Wow. I don't even know where to start.

B-E-A-R-S BEARS BEARS BEARS WOOOOOO!

I think that will do for now.

As well as having the Penguins stomp the Caps tonight, the Bears turned out a 3-1 home opener victory over the Rochester Americans. My hockey night tonight was pretty goddamn stellar, yes siree.

Final Score. (The couple on the screen are scarily indicative of many of the Central Pennsylvanians I've run into out and about here. And while we're on scoreboards, right at the beginning of the second we also got Screaming Braveheart Moment on the big screen. Why, I'm still not sure, but all I could think of was the Brind'amour Knob Hockey and started giggling uncontrollably.)

Anyway. Watched this game from sect. 121, seat 12, row L. I tend to get around a little inside Le Giant Center, but this stuck me firmly in Season Ticket Holder Zone. The game started off sort of low key (or at least as low key as you can get with 9,300 some Bears fans packed in.) My guess is that while fans may like all the hoo-ha about introducing the players and the staff and the support staff's staff and the support staff's staff's caterers and such forth (and they SHOULD be acknowledged at some point, granted) the players just look at it as more chance to stiffen up and lose their edge.

Bears, losing their edge
I distinctly remember hollering "FIND YOUR HUSTLE!" at the boys in the beginning of the first period. But they did seem to listen to me and get it back.
The guy next to me was highly amused, and kept looking over at me like "What is this girl doing, knowing what's going on in a hockey game?" I think he actually guffawed out loud when I yelled "CLYMER, DON'T BE A HERO!" as Ben Clymer tried to shovel it past 4 dudes by himself.

Ben Clymer, listening to me. But while we're on the Ben Clymer tangent, let us go on the Ben Clymer tangent. Ben Clymer makes me happy. Incredibly happy. Especially when he scores TWO of the THREE GOALS in the ENTIRE GAME. RIDICULOUS. Granted, I came in being one of the few who knew who he was (and his whole back story and his middle name and where he was born, thanks Mrs. Clymer Caps Chick) but even without that, you could tell he was playing like a madman, and it paid off for him. I don't care if he's trying to prove he can go back up to D.C, for now, madmen are good in Hershey too.
I had been reserving opinion on Louis Robitaille until I saw him play live as well, as I was afraid he was going to be the AHL Briere, and we all know how much I love HIM. Instead. Robitaille managed to prove himself to me as a good player who just has the shortest fuse known to man. He got thrown out for actually fighting once, and got in peoples' faces a couple of more times, only to get peeled away by the refs.

(Louis missing a few pieces after his altercation)


I also have to get in here some completely unapologetic adoration for Gameplay Jay Beagle. The kid is a monster. When he connected with people, they didn't just smish against the glass and then keep skating, they smished, they fell down, and they usually got his knee as he turned around to keep going. He was also BRILLIANT in the double penalty kill in the second period. Sloane and Boumedienne both got themselves kicked out, and about a minute into the ensuing 5 on 3 Beagle followed the puck down and just planted himself over it in the corner as the Amerks tried to pry him off. I kept glancing at the clock and looking back at them, and Beagle seriously held them off of the puck for a good 30 to 40 seconds BY HIMSELF.

That's right, I'm awesome
It's no joke when they say that this kid is gonna be ridiculously good. He's already well on his way, if you ask me. Or Elly. Or anyone else who watched him at Caps camp. I hate to say it, but Colby Armstrong, you better start pasting guys with some regularity, or you may be sliding slowly from "favorite player who throws his body around" spot. I'm just warning you. (I suppose I could separate NHLers from AHLers... but the AHLers do grow up at some point....)

The evening at Giant Center closed with the 70th Anniversary Jersey Auction. I didn't realize that they were going to make the players come out and pimp THEMSELVES to sell the jerseys, but holy cow, it was hilarious. Poor Deano got no end of crap from the auctioneer, as he ribbed him for being out so long, and how all the money was going to go to the "Dean Arsene Foundation." Supposedly even Deano's mom was bidding on his jersey until it got too spendy.


Poor Deano ultimately went for something in the order of $1700, and it just got more ludicrous from there.

Jason Morgan came out sporting his spandex short-shorts, and the auctioneer kept trying to get him to "turn around to raise the price"


Clymer went for somewhere around $1500, and looked shocked the entire time people were bidding on him. He also stood the whole time like he really wished that he could just keep the jersey for himself.


Machesney seemed rather nonplussed about doing this. He's also significantly taller than he looks in goalie gear-I think the pads take a good five inches off of someone, visually.


Beagle was just completley FLOORED by how much he wnet for. After Arsene did $1700 and I believe Robitaille broke $3000, he was probably hoping for what, $1000? Beagle broke $2,000. Seriously. People see him going places. Either that or all the puckbunnies brought their rich daddies, which, I hate to say it, might have been a definite possibility tonight as well. I'm going to continue to believe that he was $2,000 on virtue of playing style, however, as that makes my soul hurt slightly less.


I'll see you there on the 28th, right?

RIGHT?

(Also, the 28th may be my first chance to get in and actually ask questions of the players, so if anyone has any pressing needs, let me know. I'm still trying to figure out how to phrase "what's with the shorts slitting?" (still quite prevalent tonight) so it sounds a little more, uh, intelligent.)

Yes, as you may have guessed from the stunning keyboard pyrotechnics in the title there, the Royals final roster has been posted. Guess who got traded to the Fresno Falcons? He couldn't even have gotten sent to the Thunderbirds or the Winterhawks or something local to SOMEWHERE I might get to see him play again? FRESNO?)Dammit, give the dude a chance!

Now, I know I should be looking at it as a "maybe he'll get more time in goal playing in Fresno" or realizing "He's too good to be kept on IR for the entire year with only a chance to play once in a while" or taking an "All he has to do is have a good year there and SOMEONE will realize the kid's talented" stance, but right now I just want to kick things.


This is me, now kicking things.


YARGLEPHOOEY!

(I was even going to go into preliminary attempts at the hockey hair hall of fame using Mayotte's unfortunate freshman year bleach choice but it seems undignified to kick the guy when he's stuck in Fresno down.)

HERE NOW! Limited time only! The schedule (pronounced, shed-yule, of course) for my NaBloPoMo bid.

Monday: Hockey Hair of the Rich and Famous
Tuesday:Meet: My Ultimate Fantasy Team Player Du Jour, otherwise known as Players You Should Follow and Why.
Wednesday: Hockey Youtube Madness!!
Thursday: Meet: The 2007 Hershey Bears (if they ever quit moving around)
Friday: How Do I Look, Hockey Style (in which I analyze logos/uniforms)
Saturday: Hockey Blog Pimpage Day. (If you want to be pimped, let me know)
Sunday:Best Week Ever... On Ice! (in which I decide who is having the best and worst week ever in Hockeyland)


(And as always, i reserve the right to abandon some day randomly and insert a game review or an idle rant, or a letter to VS telling them how much their announcers make me want to roast my own eyeballs over a fire.)


In Bears news, it's been officially said that Deano won't be back until 2008, which makes me sad. Not only because he's really doesn't deserve the crappy luck, being a nice guy and all, but also because the team could really use the leadership, especially on the blueline. Hopefully (and I'm looking at you, CapsChick, to assure that this happens,) Ben Clymer can step the heck up and fill some big maroon skates, what with his previous NHL experience and all.

Alrighty, y'all, I need your help.

I've just thrown my hat into the ring for NaBloPoMo (National Blog Posting Month) '07. A close relative of NaNoWriMo (National Novel Writing Month), NaBloPoMo requires ONE blog post (of some substance) per day. And instead of doing it in my Life, Crap and Other Assorted Stuff type blog, I'm going to try to wring three some weeks of hockey-relevant contact out of myself. (If the -ookies can do an entire off season, I can do a month!)

Here's where y'all come in. I'm thinking that the best way to do this is assign at least two or three days a week specific topics, so I know what I'm coming up to. Obviously, there will have to be a "Players You Should Like and Why" day, where I can introduce you to my ultimate fantasy team one by one (even though they really wouldn't win anything, EVER)

I'm also thinking that my somewhat-inner costume designer may need to do either an analysis of the new team uniforms/logos each week or develop a new team/logo each week.

On the analysis front, I was also considering an expose on hockey hair.....

A few days through the month will also be given up to Bears blogging, as the boys are actually playing games in TOWN in November (the horror!. If I'm lucky (and it sounds like I can be) I can also get the occasional Bear to answer some of my (and your) random questions.

So that's where I need you. What do YOU want to see here for a month? And what do YOU want to ask a hockey player? Lemme freakin' know!

Imma get my hummer, Imma drive myself down to Binghamton, and Imma MESS WITH YOUR AHL TEAM.

That's right, for those of you who haven't heard it yet, Ray Emery will be in goal for the Binghamton Baby Sens as the Bears face them tomorrow (10/13), attempting to rehab his previously surgeryified wrist. I'm really REALLY hoping for a Bears win on this one just so I can wander around talking like Knob Hockey Emery for a day or two. And having to explain myself slowly and painfully to everyone around me.

Come on Bears. He's only Ray MotherF'in Emery. You can stuff it past him and then laugh at his questionable fashion sense afterwards. I'm especially looking at you, Jay Beagle. After they rested you for this game, I expect you to go out there and play like a man possessed. Deano, I want to hear you say "dipsy doodle" in commentary again. Louie, please to be killing some dudes. Metaphorically, of course. I don't want you to take the hint from the Flyers and play the "How Many Suspended At Once?" game. The rest of you, play some good goddamned hockey.

And don't let Emery get his Hummer on the ice...

After that video, I'm sorta minorly struggling for content at the moment.
Overall, from what I hear the Pens are being their general rocky-start selves right now, with two losses and one win, and the Bears are, well, hanging out here in town with me waiting for their next game. Metaphorically, of course. I have not actually seen any Bears in the places I frequent, namely SCHOOL, the GAS STATION and the LAUNDROMAT. I live an exciting life, lemme tell you.

But if something happens, like the Bears Home Opener v. Rochester on October 20th that I'm definitely not sitting in 12th row seats for OR counting down the days until, I'll be sure to tell you.

Biggest Bear news at the moment is Deano (Arsene) being listed as "out indefinitely" because of his double hernia surgery, which is a shame. From what I saw of Deano at camp, (which was not much, granted) his puck handling is damn solid, and let's face it, I'm a sucker for appreciating anyone who will A) stop and greet fans in the stands, and B) rack up 187 penalty minutes in a season.

The other big news out of here right now is blueliner Jeff Schultz being sent down from DC. Of course, this brings up the question...do you say "down from DC" because he's moving down league wise, or do you say "up from DC" because he's moving geographically north? Things I wonder about, when VS gives up on showing hockey.

Mayotte Watch from Reading still has Mayotte in Reading. Tada!
Reading fans are projecting him as the Reading #3 to replace Pietrasiak if P. gets called up to cover in Hershey. They're also putting Mayotte in as the Hershey #4 Callup, but there's no guarantee on that at this point and I won't believe it until I hear it from someone official. Just to get a jump on it is it bad to wish the 48 hour flu on the other three? (And can I use "Reading" more times in this paragraph?)

Okay, okay, it's kinda not new, but it's still funny. I do believe Ovechkin is starting to develop a personality in my mind, and I'm starting not to write him off as an arrogant bastard.

Which is good on one hand, as it will keep Caps Chick from killing me out of Penguin induced spite, and will make seeing some of the Bears boys go up to play with the big boys a little less painful, but at the same time, hell... Ovechkin's developing a half-decent personality. Guess this means I'll have to hit the Tiny!Briere Hate even harder. Hmm. Who else can I find to dislike?

Dear Mr. VS Announcer Keith Jones, Spouting Your Mouth and Little Graphics Off at What You're Calling the Halftime Report of the Canes/Leafs Game,

There's no way the Anaheim Ducks sent Bobby Ryan down to their AHL affiliate in Portland OR, as no such team exists. Trust me. There is no hockey of note in Portland Oregon, or I like to believe I would have noted it significantly earlier. (Okay, we have the Winter Hawks.... um, enough said)

However with a little bit of internet effort, I have discovered that the Ducks tell us only one page into their website that Bobby Ryan was, in fact, sent to the Portland Pirates of Portland Maine.

Now, I understand how you could get the name of the cities mixed up, as they're similar, and I'm even willing to understand that the states are only a whole country apart. I'm willing to think that you attributed the Pirates to Portland OR because we're a bunch of salty salty dogs.


BUT. If you would please to be looking at the history of the Portland Pirates, they've been in Portland ME since 1993. You, Mr. Keith Jones, started playing Big Time Hockey in the NHL in 1992, WITH THE WASHINGTON CAPITALS. WHO USED THE AHL PORTLAND, ME PIRATES AS THEIR FARM TEAM FROM 1993 UNTIL 2005.



Mr Keith Jones, I do believe I have just proved that not only are you merely a questionably reliable reporter, you're also kind of an idiot.


Love,
Teka.

Kris Mayotte is NOT amused.



(from a Royals forum member Rich. See more of his pictures of the Royals at http://www.richshockeypics.smugmug.com/)

There was also a good article in the Reading Eagle about the "goalie glut" the Royals have- they took Pietrasiak from Hershey (but he may get called back up there, depending on how Machesney heals and whether or not Cassivi spends any time in Washington) and then got given Jonathan Quick from LA. Supposedly at this point Quick is pretty much a shoe-in for one spot, so the other three are duking it out for the second position

From what I'm hearing out of the Reading fans on the messageboard, it's sounding a lot like nobody quite knows what's going on... Quick is the only guy I've heard a vocal outpouring for, and with my @%(@(%)$#&*!!! schedule keeping me from getting down there and actually SEEING a practice OR a pre-season game, I'm having to get it all second hand.
The Eagle seems to like Mayotte though, giving us this;

Mayotte, 24, grew up in the Pittsburgh area. After four stellar seasons at Union College, the athletic Mayotte started last season in the AHL with Albany before settling in the Central Hockey League with Arizona.

“He had unbelievable numbers in college,” Taylor said. “He set the world on fire. And then last year he started really well and blipped a little bit. So he’s fighting back to get his nose in there and do what he needs to do.”

I'm still holding out my "Kris Mayotte Deserves A Chance" banner, but I'll admit I'm starting to get discouraged.

At least Mayotte's staying positive:
“My expectations are to outplay them and win the job,” said Mayotte, who was in camp with Washington (NHL) and Binghamton (AHL) this fall. “I think that’s everyone’s expectations, to outplay the other goalies and make the team and go on from there.”

Here's always hoping :-)

So, remember that Flyers game I went to a while ago? Nadine (aka flyers.femme, aka that screaming head on the side of the picture) alerted me to the fact that I was wasting part of my 15 minutes of fame appearing in Flyers press pictures. (click to enlarge)



Please to be noting that in the midst of the Flyers fans at the Flyers/Caps preseason game, I am wearing none other than a Hershey Bears sweatshirt. Yes, I live my life on the EDGE, yo.

(May I also say that I'm glad I managed NOT to look like a complete tool? Go me!)

As per all the hubbub about "OMG WHAT IF FLEURY GETS HURT CAN SABOURIN BACK HIM UP," I want to whip out my AWESOME predictory skillz and say:

PITTSBURGH PENGUINS to SIGN ILJA BRYZGALOV. Because Bryz and Fleury? That'd be a duo to see. I'd be okay with EITHER of them starting, and EITHER of them backing. And the Russian troublemakers of Bryz, Gonch and Malkin? Hi-LARIOUS.

In lesser news (if you could get lesser than THAT,)

Beagle-Watch 2007 still has Jay Beagle in Hershey. He didn't play in the Pens game last night (as I suspected), and according to the Walton blog, Coach Boudreau wants to play him in the next game, so it's looking hopeful that Chocolateville will be Beagleified this season. Most of the ECHL guys who are leaving are being farmed back now so they can be there when ECHL training commences tomorrow... so the fact that he's still here I'm taking as a good thing. (Dear Bears, please don't Clymer the kid. He's got potential)

Speaking of the ECHL:
Mayotte-Watch '07 has a post on the Reading Royals message board FINALLY confirming that Kris Mayotte IS, in fact, at least doing camp there. They only seem to have one goalie on the team at this point, so he's in position to do well for himself if he delivers another Caps-camp worthy performance. I'm keeping my fingers crossed, because the guy's a stellar goalie and needs a good break at some point.

Enough midnight blogging from me!

Warning: Ahead lies some truly stream of consciousness blogging.... I make no promises that any of it will make sense. (I'm watching the pre-game and the two games on VS, the Ducks/Wings followed by the Stars/Avs. I'm a little apprehensive about how they're gonna do it if the Ducks/Wings go into overtime, but it's VS, so OBVIOUSLY they have a plan. Right?)

Tonight is also the AHL opening, so the Bears are up in Wilkes-Barre slaughtering the Penguins.I thought I was going to have class tonight, or I might well have considered making the road trip. I'd be watching them as well, but the AHL games don't so much make TV, and I don't think even my little ADHD brain could listen to the Bears on the radio and watch the Ducks/Wings on TV.

Anyway, on with the blabbering.

-It's not even a Pens game, and they're pimping Crosby on VS. It scares me a little that they're calling the thing on Sid they're airing on the 23rd "Sidney Crosby Revealed." That sounds a little too much like we're going to see the elusive Sidbits, and that scares me. A lot.

-WOW, the Joe is empty. Does nobody CARE? Detroit, where the hell are you? Your tickets are still reasonably priced, yo... go see some games!

-They have an Angry!Emery commercial to go with the Angry!Briere shooting pucks through windows? Whatever happened to the "Look, The NHL Is Funny!" ads? I miss those.

-HOORAY! Bryzgalov is starting. In a sick way, I'm glad Giggy had hernia surgery, as it's giving Bryz a chance to show he's not just a sound bite machine.... as much as I love him for being a whiz with the reporters, dude's a talented goalie, and he should really be starting on a team that would fully appreciate him.

-Hasek, I disliked you before, but whacking Perry in the butt and yelling at him? I dislike you even more now. Quit being a bitter, floppy old man and grow a pair. That's right, for crap like that you get a diving penalty, AND you make Bryzgalov look even better.

(Bears Break! Pens are up 2-1 at this point. Hot damn. Chris Meinard, please not to be scoring any more. And what're we calling a KNUCKLE PUCK? Isn't that a Mighty Ducks invention? And PLEASE, G. McNeill, I KNOW you just want to go out and maul a bitch, but not when they're up. No more silly penalties, boys. I'm also very amused by the fact that they have Dean Arsene in the press box giving sound clips. Points to him for using the term "dipsy doodle" as well. I don't think as a player I'd be able to sit there and do that. I'd be forever yelling directions at my teammates.)

-And now I make chili and yell at the Ducks for being out of position. Dammit, Pronger, can't you control your team?

-32 saves for Bryz. That man is a machine.

-Again, with the fact that I should go buy a lottery ticket. Guess which game's going into overtime? Yeah. And VS is staying with it, for once.

(Bears Break! Reviewing a goal... the one that put the Pens up 5-4. And it's given to the Pens, but Deryk Engelland got the assist, so I can't be TOO unhappy... except that the Bears then lose. Deano chalks it up to 'bad luck' and a 'missed call by the linesmen' Damn.)

Whew. That's exhausting, listening to two games at once. There's no way I'll be able to keep that up through the Stars/Avs. Not to mention the fact that I know possibly 3 names/numbers on BOTH teams together in that lineup. Nope, this one gets me just watching.

So this is me, signing off, and still scheming a new way to finance my Star-Trek style transporter to enable more live hockey. Ow. My brain hurts.

(If you don't get it, this is the original. It's been making the rounds.)




(Also posted at hlog)


(Today's losing video? B2networks, who want $160 to watch Hershey games online. I could get online Center Ice for that. Hell. I could go to 6 more LIVE Hershey games for that. Boo, moneygrubbing corporations. Boo.)

I (as in the Hershey Bears) have effectively stolen Mr. Caps Chick (as in Ben Clymer) from the Stinky River Town (as in Washington D.C.)

I'm sorta waiting with baited breath to see how the roster all shakes down... we have a G McNeill still, and now we have a Clymer, and I'm really waiting to see if Beagle stays here... with the frequency they've been playing him, I'd be surprised if he didn't, but stranger things have happened in Hockeyville.

In other news, I also got called in a follow up for the Hershey Bears Game Day Internship position. I think I may have spent too much time trying to make sure they knew I didn't fit the 'college student in the field of sports management or something else like that" requirement, but we'll see. We're always still pending on that press pass.