As she put it….
“Today on NHL.com Paul Kukla offers up his choices for what he calls the Tops with a Twist, a set of “awards” that don’t get a shiny trophy and a big awards ceremony but probably should.”

In a nutshell, who would I give these awards to?

Best one-on-one offensive player: *crickets* Let’s say Malkin, once he gets himself firmly IN THE GAME.

Best one-on-one defenseman: I’m going to have to go with Chris Pronger. He may be a complete jackass, but he gets to job done…. no matter what. If we could just train him to keep his elbows to himself, we’d have a good little blueliner.

Assist man: Hm. I’ll go with Michel Ouellet, who always seemed to be feeding people good pucks. (le wtf, Pens management, giving him to Tampa Bay?)

Best pure goal scorer: I’m going to go with Jarome Iginla, as what I remember of the Flames playoff games is him repeatedly getting in a position to score or scoring but not ever doing anything else all that exciting.

Power-play specialist: Ryan Malone.

Shorthanded specialist: Duh. JStaal. Kid’s ridiculous.

Need one save: Oh Bryz. You try SO HARD and get so little back for it, in terms of playing time and love.

The guy you never heard of: Martin St. Louis, who one of my co-hockey dorks now absolutely adores.

Biggest impact on a new team: Hopefully Le Petite Briere will get the Flyers’ collective heads out of their singular giant ass. I would not be opposed to driving 1.5 hours for hockey instead of 4, but they’ll have to REALLY convince me.

When it gets chippy: This one I am giving to George Parros. I do love me some pornstache…. and he has 0 goals, 0 assists with 150 some penalty minutes from last season.

Coach for a must-win game: I don’t know.. Lindy Rupp makes some awful great angry faces.

Get under your skin guy: Army. Definitely. And not just because I adore the kid.

The home crowd: Ducks or Flames, i think.

…and a few new categories of Caps Chick’s:

Most overrated player: Sidbits. Don’t kill me.

Most underrated player: Vinny Lecavalier, who sort of got lost in the Sidbits shuffle. (that sounds like a real winner of a line dance.)

Worst arena to play in as a visitor: Wherever the Red Wings are, because that means you’re playing the Red Wings.

Worst arena to play in as the home team: I’m totally giving it to Mellon.