I do apologize for my potentially horrendous spelling tonight folks, as I’m coming to you live, yes, that’s right, live, from the Bears/Rats game in my backyard. I’m going to take an IPB approach to game coverage, with great potential to be edited later. I’ll also be posting during stoppages of play (not stoopages of plague, as my nervous fingers would have you believe) and then updating the same entry as stuff happens. So one big entry, posted as it happens, you heard it here first. If I get to come play this game again, I may work on an updateable widget the way the AHL/NHL/Yahoo sites do box scores. Then again, I may not bother, as the AHL site does it pretty damn well themselves.

For the record, not only the only female in the box, also the YOUNGEST PERSON. Do I ever feel awkward.

Warmups:
Only caught a little, but the promised “breast cancer awareness pink warmup jerseys” we were promised are not the mass of awful I expected. They’re actually a very tastefully done black practice jersey with a big pink logo on the front. Not the most horribly manly thing ever, but not the pastel pink shirt I was waiting to see.

Also noted: installation of a big video screen over the zamboni entrance. I’m not sure whether it’s a leftover from the convention that was here over the week or whether it’s a new permanent fixture. The way it’s set up, I’m guessing convention, but we’ll see if it stays or not.

Opening lineup? Beagle, Barney, Bourque, Boumedienne, Hunt and Cassivi. I’m already trying to call that the 3B line, but there’s gotta be something catchier.

18:40 Clymer has just whiffed two in succession, and as if to taunt him ,the Rat goalie is wandering all the heck over.

18:19 Cassivi, doing his mattress impression, catches an easy one to his chest.

17:02 Hunt swandives a Rat past Cassivi. Don’t ask me why, but there they are, doing synchronized headers towards the boards. Someone’s foot catches the side of the net, and it bobbles a little, but Cassivi grabs it and keeps it where it’s supposed to be.

16:12 Payback’s a bitch. McAllister responds to the Rats’ Wade Brookbank agitation and lands a good punch to the face. Brookbank goes down, attempting to swing back, but the refs are there before much else can happen. They’re both warming the penalty box for five.

13:37 There seems to be a lot of “I don’t have it, i thought YOU had it!” behind the net tonight. I’m not sure whether it’s the Bears not communicating or the Rats doing some fancy teamwork, but more than once there’s been a completely free puck behind a net and two Bears skating away from it. This, boys = things you should not be doing.

11:47 A LOVELY long range chip towards Cassivi and he gloves it. Marc Andre Fleury, you need to be taking notes on this game. You could learn a lot from Cassivi, between his pillowesque tendencies and hand-eye coordination.

10:40 Collins, you are not Cassivi. Please to not be trying to catch the puck. That’s why you have the stick.

10:06 point blank shot from Laing….. that hits Leighton right in the chest and all but falls into his glove.

9:20 A lovely Bear slam into the boards and we have our second fight, Robitaille v # 10 Mike Angelidis. A handy Louie victory, in which it looks like he even manages to get Angelidis’ jersey most of the way over his head before they have to give up. Louie picks up not just 5 for fighting, but 10 for charging as well.

8:40 Borque gets a nice charge down the side towards the Rat goalie on the penalty kill, and just to be a dick, Leighton kicks, yes, KICKS the shot away. I swear, I’d almost take the goaltender penalty to punch the guy for that.

5:25 With two Bears and Cassivi in front of the goal, the Rats manage to dick it around enough to get a #26 Nicolas Blanchard shot in. Laaaaame sauce. I must say, I’m impressed by their ability to perform accurate blind passes, taking it on faith that their teammate will be there. Of course, my inner cynic is also impressed with the fact that their teammate is there, but that’s almost assuredly a leftover from my failed soccer career.

3:44 Poltuny on a breakaway gets tangled in a Bear. Crowd goes wild at the injustice of it all.

3:35 Boumedienne takes a big hit into the boards, loses his helmet. He’s on the bench now, and the trainer seems to be working him over. Looks like just the ego was bruised. In the box, the Rats; 32 for interference,

2:30 Petruzalek of the Rats to the bench for too many men on the ice. If this was the Pensblog, I’d give you two boys kissing, but I run a more classy organization than that. Barely, sometimes, but classier.

2:06 Motzko with a nice shot, stopped be Leighton. Clymer tries to jam it in, but just succeeds in tipping Leighton over. He gives up before they can call him on it. It’s five on three, and the Bears are trying damn hard.

35 seconds: number 17 on the Rats (Jerome Samson) seems to get some sort of sick thrill out of smacking his stick on other peoples’ skates. Louie attempts to start another dust up, but is foiled by the refs, probably sick of having to spell his name every time he gets thrown out.

First Intermission: Awwwww. The Baby Bears are playing. There’s nothing more ovary-exploding than a 4 foot tall kid in hockey gear. The goalies don’t even look like they can move. It’s sort of Kid in A Snowsuit to an extreme. There’s also Hershey Jr Bears Girls team, so it’s not all awful. I approve. I heartily approve. Also, Beagle is still wearing his shredded shorts. I am still mystified.

19:23 sees the Rat’s Casey Bourer hobbling off the ice after taking a slapshot in the foot, and Polluck out for hooking. Come on, Bourer. Man up. Crosby skated with a broken foot, our derby captain Dosa Badazz skated with a broken foot, why can’t you? (He’s standing on it in the box, so he’s at least going to try)

16:51 Beagle with a nice long run down the side again, but forced to abandon it going around the net. Leighton sort of idly pokes at it. Dammit man, you’re infuriating.

15:31 The Bears are not keeping their eyes open tonight. There have been quite a few turnovers out of what was really bad communication and lack of team awareness. Come on guys. The people you want are in white.

14:13 Another scramble in front of the net, and a really well positioned Rat (Angelidis) on the far post, and another Albany goal. Robitaille is not amused, and almost immediately off the faceoff tries to agitate his way into another fight.

13:15 Let’s have an ice party with the Rats! Let’s all fall down at once and roll around!! Let’s then throw the puck in our own goal! (okay, the last part only in my wishful thinking)

11:37 Bears power play, yay! We’ve got 21, Jamie Johnson in for roughing. Although with a name like Jamie Johnson, you probably got roughed more yourself in school.

10:14 Note to self. When puck makes it in to the photo booth, and you’re a photographer someday, give it to the poor kid behind you who really wants it. For the love of hockey gods, don’t be fun sucker.

8:45 Robitaille would never make it in the New NHL, not with the style of hit he loves to throw down. Yet another reason AHL hockey is so much fun to watch.

8:20 Beagle slightly misses a hit and takes a guy out at the stick as the Rat is falling. Whatevs, he’s still in the box for boarding. Come out mad and let’s have another Beagle fight, yo. Make my night!

7:31 BOYS. STICK MEETS PUCK. PUCK GOES DOWN ICE. You have to stop this whiffing stuff, or it’s never going to work.

3:30 I do believe they’ve just made Beagle’s themesong “Save A Horse R
ide a Cowboy” Inwardsly, I’m laughing, as I don’t want to explain the funny to the stodgy men in suits up here.

2:03 Klepis goes down in desperation in front of the Bears goal and chucks his stick. Sigh of relief as it’s not a penalty shot, just a faceoff. Somewhere, there is also a Rat without a glove.

1:20 Clymer biffs a shot, Beagle faceplants into the glass. Boys, less awkward, more hockey. Let’s go. Come on.

40 seconds Sloan off for interference. Dig that PK out guys.

6 seconds Or not. Laing off for something…. but not before making some threatening motions at the ref who called it.

Second Intermission BOOOOOOO-RING. Some sort of trike race with Cocoa, entirely forgettable, and that damn money blimp. I have decided that as well as running one of the spotlights, my other goal is to become a rinkside photographer. Perhaps both at once, if I’m that damned good.

Wow. Refs just got heartily booed by the somewhat sparse crowd. I could not be more amused right now. Also thought for a minute there we’d get to see a Laing ref whacking, as he was following him rather closely and holding a big stick.

It’s never good when your team is taking the faceoff with three people.

19:15 A lovely glove save by one of the Bears, and they knock it down to the Rat end. Ten seconds on Sloan.

17:04 We seem to be playing “naptime behind the net” down at the Bears end. we’ve had at least four people literally lying down on the job out there. I’m also amused that backup goalie’s main job seems to be handing sticks out to those who have broken theirs on the way by.

15:08 Tim Conboy of the Rats kneecaps one of his teammates with his stick and he goes sprawling. Take that, team bonding.

13:55 Hunt down next to the boards, holding his face. He’s up and skating now, but goes to the bench making sure his teeth are all in one place. Looks like it’s the Rats’ Petruzelak, in for high sticking (to the face!)

11:42 Blocked shot and a Brookbank glove into a Clymer face, knocking his helmet off. Clymer’s ready to go, but the refs say no. Please, Mr. Linesman?

10:57 HUGE HIT from McAllister. For a minute, it looks like the Rat may stay down, but he gets up and wobbles off to the bench, no penalty called.

9:12 Gymnastics with the Rats! Number 12 does a lovely double somersault after tripping over his own feet heading towards the Bears goal.

6:57 Barney and Laing collide behind the Rat goal. Le, WTF guys? We need to work on our color recognition.

2:10 Let’s Maul Cassivi! And they do. Finally a blind linesman blows the whistle, but the majority of the Bears are looking pretty grumpy at that point. Just to prove it, they fire it down at the Rats, and Clymer gets up in everyone’s face. Again.

1 They’ve pulled Cassivi. Part of me thinks this is a really BAAAAAAD idea, but so far so good.

Final Score:

Rats 2, Bears 0.

There’s always next week, boys.