Bears v. Rats, 2/2/08
February 2, 2008 | Filed in: da b'ars

Velcom back to the show, sports fans. Another day, another Supermanesque change into “Intrepid Girl Reporter” in the pool locker room, surprisingly a day that I remember to bring my internet cable. So far so good.

Your dance card tonight is Hershey Bears v. Albany River Rats, which always seems to be the matchup I wind up in the pressbox for. Regretfully, since I’m up here, I’m not wearing the Gordon jersey, but I swear, I’ll put it on when I get home and take a picture so y’all can see I’m really not just full of it.

Lineup tonight based on warmups looks pretty standard with the addition of #20 Ryan Flinn tot he Bears, on loan from the Falcons for Morgan (if I remember the player-shuffle right) As I’ve heard it, Flinn’s the hired goon, more or less. Of course, his wearing #20 does some wierd things in my synapses, but luckily he’s a scratch tonight, so I can attempt to remain more or less sane for the duration.

There’s a very LARGE woman with very LARGE hair standing up on the glass behind the Bears bench in an Arsene jersey, and I keep mistaking her for Cocoa. BAD NEWS, lady, when I mistake you for a fat stuffed bear. It’s also Return of the Worst Anthem Singer Ever, who I can almost cut slack for being nervous, but nervous or not, that was a key-change in the middle and a hiccup after that. Come ON.

Starting lineup: Gordon, Potulny, Joudrey, Sloan, Arsene, Cheezer.

Period 1
19:51 I give you a Potulny v. Conboy. Nine seconds, boys. Nine. Niiiice.

19:41 Scrum originating behind the net, Louie’s got one, but it looked like it started with someone else, when two Rats ganged up on one of the Bears and ran him into the corner. I think it may have been Lepisto, but it was just sort of a seething mass of red and white, so it was hard to tell.
Looks like Louie’s broken something, as they’re playing his song and he’s returning jerseyless to the bench and heading off. We’re at 5 on 4 now, favor Bears.

17:49 Fehr’s all over the place tonight. There’ve been a couplea good stick moves by him and a some good fully-body uses. For a big guy, he gets around more that I’ve been expecting him to.

Lovely thwacking pad stop from Machesney that the Bears managed to run down into the other end but can’t quite squeeze past Leighton. Which is a pity, as any time Machesney gets an assist, it’s a fun night.

15:30 Lepisto loses, skating by the net a little to close and tipping it over on Cheezer as he’s in goalie crouch. He looks completely lost for a moment, and then manages to back out, rather indignantly. Suppose it’s not every day that happens. Man, I wish I’d had a camera.

14:40 Really nice attempt by Gordon and Barney, Gordo picks up the puck on his way off the bench, gets faced with three Rats and drops it back to Barney, who would have had a point against a lesser goaltender. Damn you, Leighton.

12:02 Puck poked past Leighton post-whistle. Crowd is irate. Oh, settle, ya pansies. I coulda told you. Before you all jumped up and screamed, he had blown the whistle and was making nogoal hands. And the Bullshit chant? Completely misused there.

11:15 Machesney decides he’s a field player and plays with the puck out behind the net. I almost hyperventilate silently as a Rat goes by in front of the empty crease. Somehow, this ends well, and the Bears clear.

10:12 Gordon trips on the puck and misses.
9:58 Gordon gets tangled in his feet and goes down. Not a good night for Gordon. I still believe. Get it going again. You can do it. Insert other motivational phrase here.

9:02 Paused as Leighton has a small hissy fit about some hole in his crease. God, what is it with the opposing team’s goalies?

8:38 Bears score! Beagle, Fehr, and I’m gonna guess here…. Boumedienne. We’ll see how right I am. (Fehr, Assists to Beagle and Boumedienne. I am unto a god.)

5:13 with 10 seconds left in the PP, we finally get a remotely PP like setup. Come on. come ON. You’re letting them run you around. Clamp down, Bears.

3:40 Stunning display of man hugging, as Joudrey holds a Rat down for oh, what, a good 15 seconds?

2:45 Sloan in for tripping. I really think we need to give penalties different names. “Sloan for doing the horizontal foot pokey poke” sounds so much more fun.

Gordon channels Quintin Laing and takes a couplea nice ones in the body. Kid’s got spirit, coming out and doing that after falling on himself twice, then getting stuck in a couple of wall sandwiches.

End of period 1, Bears with 1 pt, 14 shots, Rats with 0 pts, 8 shots.

Inter 1
Tragedy of this game? I think Jay Beagle’s cut his hair, which completely invalidates the ridiculous nickname the Hloggers gave him. Either that or he’s slicked it down in some newly creative way, but it’s not making the normal bid for freedom out from under the helmet it normally is. I’m hoping this isn’t a Samson moment, in which he chops his hair and then gets sent to South Carolina, because that would be beyond tragic. Geez, dude, just because I got the Gordon jersey doesn’t mean I’m not still the obnoxious girl that yelled at you through training camp in DC. This non scoring haircutting emo thing has to stop and stop now. You get back out there and score. And grow your hair back.

Second Period
18:48 Welcome back No-Pass Motzko. Where have you been all game?

16:08 Sloan stops one brilliantly with his foot and comes off limping. He’s still putting weight on it, but leaving to get it looked at.

15:38 Penalty as Louie heads towards the goal with the puck and winds up IN the goal without the puck. No penalty shot, but a completely wierd faceoff. Sloan’s back out on the bench now, seems to be doing okay.

13:29 Lovely stop in front of the Cheez by one of the Bears, who turn it around and send it winging back down to the other side…. only to have a faceoff.

12:25 Nice cross-crease setup by Beagle… completely missed by Bourque. Those are the ones you need to be connecting with, boys. Those.

11:52 Rebound off a Bear body hits Cheez and dingles across the face of the net before finding a post and moseying out. Cheez wets himself, team yells, entire arena changes pants.

10:07 Shorthanded breakaway with Beagle and Bourque.. Beagle could have had it, but slips it to Bourque who hammers it past Leighton. 2-0, Bears.

8:54 Gordon with a second almost breakaway, hampered by as many Rat sticks as they could put in front of him. Complete robbery, if you ask me.

7:40 Another Gordon body puck stop with resulting glass sandwich and he STILL tries for the breakaway again.

Ref makes a bogus call as Leighton pretends to stop the puck. Okay, I guess we’re having a stoppage now.

3:34 Okay, enough with the goddamned
stoppage. Tired of this now. Want to see hockey.

3:20 Clymer tries to hit something or doesn’t hit something, or gets hit by something, or something, but comes up holding his face.

As the guy next to me says “Louie’s gonna do something stupid.” And he does. With an other team penalty, Cheez pulled, and and extra Bear in, Louie picks a fight and comes off with his forehead like sirloin after having it shoved into the ice.

:43 Deano upends himself over Aucoin. No call, but the crowd sympathizes with the fall. I think he knew it was coming, hell, set himself up for it, so I’m not too worried about him, but man, it was pretty.

End of period 2, Bears with 2 pts, 21 shots, Rats with 0 pts, 11 shots.

Second Inter
Aww, tiny children hockey players. It’s a shootout! This is the fullest I’ve seen the Giant Center in a long while. I’m assuming Wednesday may be even more full, but we’re in the 10,000’s tonight, I hear. (Hey, I really had to pee, lay off this one)

Third Period
19:11 Have decided I want to see a Pillow-Off between Cheez and Bryz.

17:28 When you can see Cheez’s helmet moving he’s yelling so emphatically, I’m thinking the rest of the team best be listening, because I firmly believe that he could put the hurt on just about any of the rest of them.

14:45 BEAUTIFUL one timer by Gordon off the powerplay, and he’s there to catch the rebound, but it gets stuck in Broken Stick Land on the far side of the ice. Lamezors!

14:05 Arsene into the box for putting the pain on Jerome Samson Pronger-Style. Crowd disapproves.

12:55 Rat one on one with the Cheez, who stops it, then second guesses himself and Haseks over backwards, exposing the puck again. Luckily one of the other Bears is there, and the whistle was blown, but still a harrowing moment in goalieland.

11:26 Gordon trips over the Rat goal and dislodges it, then gets backed into a corner by two Rats as Leighton sprawls dramatically. Gordon into the box for goalie interference. Now, crowd, now is when you pull out the Bullshit chant. Not the emphatic boo, the bullshit chant.

10:54 Rats score. Hell and damnation, people.

9:52 Eric Fehr gets called on holding, the Rat swan dives, and Fehr tries to follow him down, then very blatantly gives the ref an earful. I’m not even a lip reader and I heard what he said.

8:50 Rats manage to pop another on in above the cheez’s head that goes in, and then bounces back out. Crappy, but so it goes.

6:00 Bears score! Morgan and Wilson.

Gordon smushed, loses his helmet and grabs the back of his head. He’s moving, so seems okay. just a little put out.
Helmet seems broken, as he’s holding pieces when he comes back to the bench.

Another Bears score! Boumedienne with an assist, Motzko with a goal.

2:27 Barney shoves a Rat who falls over as he skates away. That’s it, take it lying down.

:03 Insurance goal much? Bourque empty-nets one for a 5-2 Bear victory.

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