I really wanted the title of this one to be “10 Things You Really Ought To Know About The Hershey Bears If You’re Covering the Caps” but it screwed my formatting all up as it was too long.
But anyway, as the Caps are the Chosen Ones this year according to numerous media outlets, a short primer on their baby team, as it’s clear nobody’s given one before.
1. The goalie’s name is Daren. One R, not two. No O’s. Last name is Machesney. It’s not MacChesney, it’s really just pronounced “Maah-chez-nee.” Feel free to add more AAA’s at the beginning if you’re the announcer.
2. The goalie’s nickname is “Cheezer” or “The Cheez,” not “cheese” or “cheesehead” or “gouda” or anything like that. Photographic proof in 3…..2……1…..
(bottom of the helmet anyone?)
3. Bears fans have actually already seen Perrault and Bouchard, as they played for us in the last month or so of the season. Therefore, tagging them as THE MOST AMAZING ROOKIES EVER YOU’LL LOVE THEM makes us scratch our heads and say “Um, yeah, they WERE good last year, why?”
4. That Lepisto dude people are salivating all over? You actually saw him a few times up there already. Of course, half the time you called him up and then sent him back in the same day, so how about letting him PLAY a few now?
5. Contrary to popular belief, we don’t do the “OH” here during our national anthem. We yell “GO BEARS!” in between “Land of the Free” and “Home of the Brave.” If enough Bears get called up, you can occasionally hear it faintly from the rafters in Verizon Center too.
6. Our tickets only cost $30, and that’s RIGHT DOWN ON THE GLASS SMELLING THE PLAYERS. Most of the time, they’re like $18. This also explains why Bears fans are commonly found near the ceiling in Verizon Center.
7. Bears fans, as a whole, dislike Phantoms and Baby Penguins. They do however, often like Big Penguins and Flyers. It’s that whole incestuous Pennsylvania thing.
8. The mullets in Bear territory rival those that come out of the woodwork when the Penguins come to DC. And that’s ALL THE TIME. Similarly, not all Bears fans like NASCAR, but most care about the Penn State football score.
9.Tommy Maxwell’s not a n00b this year. He had surgery on his wrist around Christmas of last year, and is supposed to play a full season with the Bears this year.
10. The Bears are actually the oldest AHL team, and originally were called the Hershey B’Ars… but at some point someone decided that was too commercial. Ya think?
And in other news, everyone’s favorite local goalie is taking a somewhat wry view of his place in the Caps organazation, according to Penn Live:
“It’s kind of good to get all the pressure kind of put on them,” Machesney said. “My philosophy is to kind of sneak in the back door. I wasn’t an early-round draft pick and I haven’t played in world juniors or Team Canada or anything, so my name’s probably not as big as those guys’ names.
“The bottom line is we’re just trying to get to the same point, right? Step by step. Whoever gets there the fastest and lasts the longest, that’s all that matters.”