The Hariest Post Ever
April 21, 2009 | Filed in: OMG, Personal Crap, calder cup, playoffs, stanley cup

Ahh, playoff traditions. College teams go blonde, the Bears have their mohawks (hopefully to be unveiled tomorrow night,) the Caps grow their beards (and Mike Green rocks the ‘hawk), and hair insanity overtakes the hockey leagues of the world. The playoff beard phenomenon has its own entry on Wikipedia; the Caps are encouraging it with their Beardathon, in short, the playoff beard is overtaking the D.C. area quickly.

But wait, I said. BUT WAIT.

For those of you who haven’t yet picked up on this, I’m ridiculously female. Sadly, all I’ve managed to grow on my chin thus far is a bumper crop of pimples (and don’t ask me where those came from, I’m not amused either.) No matter how much time I spend gritting my teeth and trying to pop out that magnificent handlebar mustache I’ve always wanted, I just don’t seem to be getting past the Nicklas Backstrom Blonde Peach Fuzz stage.

The Caps’ Club Scarlet has been little to no help in the female beard growing efforts, staying mostly silent on this horrible peach fuzz pandemic sweeping through 50% of Caps Nation….. so what, oh what’s a girl to do?

My solution? Freakin’ grow it somewhere else.

I had three choices as I saw them, and only two were fit for a mostly family-friendly blog. (although there was some discussion of rockin’ the hawk in an uh… southern…. manner.) But anyway, I saw two options.

Sadly, after living with myself for 23 years, I knew that my legs would never get past the patchy-lost-razor stage ofSidney Crosbyitis. With no Italian or Spanish influence in my background, the blondeish-brownish Irish/German leg hair gene was going to leave me in the lurch.

“Allright then, self,” I said to myself. “Armpits it is.”

So here, in all its glory, I give you the initial photo of Playoff Pits ‘09. I haven’t touched a razor since the Bears home closer, so this is almost a week and a half’s worth of growth: 4/12-4/21.


(Also please to be keeping in mind how hard it is to take pictures of your own armpits.)

Ryan Whitney I’m not, but I’m hoping to give Boyd Gordon a run for his money eventually.

Any other ladies out there in on this? We too, can turn into yetis for our team… just… less visibly!

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